domani

Tomorrow I'm going to Rome. I feel like I should be more excited, but for some reason I'm not. Originally we had an apartment near the Vatican that would cost about 27 euros per person, but there were problems with Ariel's card. We have another apartment now, and I was the one who found it so I made the reservations and am in contact with the landlady. It's an apartment for 5 that will cost about 19 euros a night per person, which is a pretty good price. The only thing is that it's in Trastevere, which is not exactly near the center. It's across the river, and our apartment is a little south of the center of Trastevere. If you know me, you know that I like to make people happy. My fear right now is that the apartment will be horrible, or that it will be difficult to get to the center, or that they won't like the area and it will be all my fault. I know these thoughts are ridiculous, you don't have to tell me, but I can't help thinking them. I am a perfectionist in some ways, and I want everything to be perfect. The truth is, I can't know what it will be like because it's a different country. I know I need to have more faith.

Another thing I'm not looking forward to is that I know that our group will be split up. So here's the thing. I've been to Rome before. The reason I'm going again is because 1) I absolutely LOVE LOVE Italy and 2) my friends are amazing, and I want to share this experience with them. I'm going with Nikki, Angela, Ariel, and Alim. Nikki is the type of person that's up at the crack of dawn, is more frugal with her money, and wants to see all there is to see. Ariel and Alim are the type of people who like to sleep in, have a little more to spend, and rather chill and sip a glass of wine than run around and see museums. Angela is a little in the middle like me. I like to relax, but I don't want to miss any of the things I came to Rome to see. Because of this, Nikki is planning on going around Rome alone because she doesn't want to wait for the others to get up. When we went to Portugal, we didn't leave the apartment until 10 or 11am, and she was MAD. Like scary mad. I don't want Nikki to have to spend her time in Rome alone, but I love hanging out with the others too. Now I feel like I have to choose between which friends I want to hang out with. I hate that, I HATE it. That's the thing I'm most worried about - all of us being separated. I came to be with everyone, and everyone doesn't want to be together. Gah.

I am excited for Rome, I am. It's just that right now my anxieties outweigh my excitement, especially since part of me misses my family and friends and wants to go back to Thousand Oaks. I'm actually excited for summer school. Is that sad?

Well, we'll see how it goes. We have to wake up to catch a bus at 4:50am tomorrow to make our flight at 7am. Wish me luck, and PLEASE keep us in your prayers. Thanks :)