It's been 2 weeks since I've arrived back in the United States. It was a LONG 11-13 hour journey, but I got to watch 4 1/2 movies, so it wasn't so bad...
My last day in Madrid was bittersweet. In the morning I helped Nikki to the airport, which wasn't really that sad because I'm living with her at UCSB, so I'm going to see her again really soon. After that I repacked my suitcase for about the 10th time. I wasn't worried about the weight until Nikki was worrying about her bag, and mine was a lot heavier than hers. I ended up taking some of the heavier things out and putting them in my carry-on. Then later my bag ended up being 10 kilos under weight. Gah.
Anyways, after I packed my bag I was pretty bored. All the people that were left in Madrid are the kind of people that sleep in until 2pm. I had pretty much done everything in Madrid at least once, so the questions I asked myself were, What would I want to do at least one more time? What would I regret not doing again? Well, it wasn't that hard. My abono, or Metro pass, ended on May 31st. Anything I would have to do would be by foot, so I decided to go to the Reina Sofia again. It's only about a 10 minute walk away from Lavapies. The last time I had been there was toward the beginning of my program. It's a museum of contemporary art, and last time I didn't really have a great view of it. After going to the Guggenheim in Bilbao, I felt like I had to go to the Reina Sofia at least one more time.
I spend about 2 hours there, taking my time and going through all the exhibits. The cool thing is that they have the Guernica, and they have dozens of Picasso paintings and a lot by Dali (I LOVE Dali) and other famous artists. I was there by myself, and while I still don't see the point of some of the exhibits (a little too abstract for me), for the most part I loved everything and appreciated it a lot more the second time around. I like the Reina Sofia, it's a great museum with beautiful works of art.
After that I passed by the Doner Kebap place that Nikki and I went to a lot and bought my last Doner Kebap. The guy gave ma a free Nestea too! I was starving, so I gobbled it down. After that, I watched a little bit of TV and then headed to Malasana. Remember that Spanish guitarist that I saw perform before? Well, Ariel, Uyen, and I went to meet him at a local place called Picnic. We spend an hour or two just sitting and talking about him and his music. Uyen interviewed him. He was really down-to-earth and really cool. He autographed the CDs that we had bought and we took a few pictures. It was amazing!
Then Ariel, Uyen, and I went to another bar and then went to eat bocadillos and drink sangria at this really cheap place by Ariel's apartment. Then we kind of walked around to Gran Via and Plaza de Espana. I don't know if these words and places mean anything to you at all...if it doesn't, look it up! Near the Plaza de Espana, there is a park that has an old Egyptian temple where Nikki and I had gone to a long time ago. There's this thing called botellon, where people buy cups and drinks and just pick a random place and talk and drink. It's a lot cheaper than going to a bar, but the difference with this place was that all of the people there were Spaniards. It was really cool seeing them having fun and talking and laughing. We wish we'd known about this place when it wasn't our last week there. The temple with the lights was so beautiful, and the park overlooks the Casa de Campo, which is a HUGE park in Madrid. We were looking over the railing, and in the distance fireworks were starting. We lay down in the grass in the cool evening, took pictures, and just enjoyed each other's company. It was a perfect night...
...until I got home. After that, I walked back to Lavapies and finished packing a few things. I laid down in my bed, and until then my attitude had been that instead of crying and moping, I was going to suck it up and enjoy my last few moments in Madrid. For some reason, once my head hit the pillow, I started to think those stupid thoughts that people tend to think...Oh my gosh, this is my last time sleeping in this bed, sleeping in my room, laying my head on this pillow. I'm leaving Madrid, I'm leaving my home. Nothing is ever going to be the same. I'm never going to have this kind of life again. It's over. These moments are gone, I'm leaving my friends. This way of life is gone. Then I started to bawl. I turned on the lights again and had to grab a roll of toilet paper to attempt to control my uncontrollable sobbing and sniffling. I buried my face in my hands and just sat there cross-legged on my head, crying and crying. Then I did what any English major would do to organize my thoughts and feelings: I journaled.
I grabbed my notebook and wrote down everything I was feeling. The interesting thing is that when I journal, I'm kind of talking to myself/my notebook, but then a lot of the time it comes out sounding like a prayer. After writing everything down, I calmed down a bit more and stopped crying. I made myself stop crying, and I comforted myself by telling myself that I would actually see my friends again. I mean, I live very very close to a few of them, and we all do live in California. I KNOW I will return to Madrid again. If it's in a few years or if it's when I'm old and gray, I will return...although I'd prefer not to go there with a walker.
I slept pretty well, and I got up early at 7am to finalize my packing, eat, and make sure I had everything. The only problem was that I did not have any appetite. I was prepared to leave Madrid, I had been preparing myself for a while. The one worry I had was that my suitcase would be overweight. Well, I had asked Ariel to help me take my stuff to the airport, and he was nice enough to offer as well. I told him to come at 9am, so naturally he came at 9:30am. He's always late, so I knew to tell him to come half an hour earlier than the actual time I wanted to leave. So even though he was late, we left on time :) Hehe
We took our time going to the airport by Metro, and it took about an hour to get there. When you go there by Metro there's a 4 euro airport charge (ugh), and I paid for Ariel's 1,50 Metro ticket because, well, he was taking time out of his life to help me. We finally got there, and we did the traditional Spanish greeting/goodbye, a kiss on both cheeks...except at the time I was wearing a hat and I poked his eye with the brim. Whoops. So I just gave him a hug instead. I didn't want the last thing I did in Madrid to be blinding my friend.
I got my boarding pass and went through security without any problems - it was about the 100th time I've been in the airport that year so I knew everything worked. I walked to my gate, and 20 minutes later I was on the plane. I got to Heathrow in London, where I went through customs and saw an old classmate from high school with her parents - RANDOM. I literally walked to the gate, and the minute I got there they started boarding. Overall, it was a pretty relaxing ride home.
So here I am, finally back in the United States. How do I feel? Weird. It was really nice seeing my parents and my friends and having unlimited texting again, but it was SO weird seeing everyone speak in English. I missed the constant Spanish. The danger of being back here is that I may forget my Spanish - it is possible. I need to practice, so I end up talking to myself in Spanish and sounding like a crazy person. At least I'm practicing.
The weirdest thing was that everything was so familiar, yet so unfamiliar at the same time. I feel different inside, and I feel like a different person in a way, but everything else is the same. That bothers me. In a way I'm trying to see how I fit in this "new" world. I miss Madrid. I really do. I miss the way of life there, the pace, the people. Things will never be the same again. However, it has made my think more about my future. Seeing my friends graduate and go on with their lives and their plans...it's made me think. I still don't know exactly what I want to do or how to get to wherever that is. It's made me think that I've wasted my first 2 years of college. I've been lazy, I know I have. I've been unfocused. Now I'm motivated more than ever to find out who I am in a way and what I want to do with my life. It kind of scares me, as it would scare anyone. I'm almost down with college. Soon I'll have to face the real world, and when that time comes I want to have some kind of direction.
My time in Madrid is over. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made to go to that amazing city, and I don't regret anything. The new chapter in my life has already begun, and I will take my experiences and what I've learned and use them to find out who/what I want to be. I will go back to Spain. After all, it was my home for 6 months. I will never forget the friends I've made there, and I can't wait to see what's next in my life. Bring it on :)
(This is my "last post." However, I will continue to post the descriptions and more pictures about my different trips around Spain and my trip to Morocco if you're interested. Again, thank you so much for following me and reading my blog and keeping me from talking to just myself.)
